The tour was in Europe 1803 (some of the missives)
Due to the malfunction of the french wagon and flying system, one certain Wood Patty was lost in transit before the show at the "Dogcookie Factory" which translated into Hollandese is "de Hongsdesfabriek", or something very certain and similar...
Finding Wood Patty was very important. He ended up traveling by train after making contact with a world traveling "telephone robot" which almost put him in tears, the only friend he could find in the continetnt of France, who said nothing, except consoling french words.
Arriving at the "Dogcookie Factory" was a spectacle in and of itself. The wall is covered in masks from different nomadic african cup tribes. The walls are sturdy dutch design of grand importance, solid and unbreakable, all from the achitect, tax entrepeneur Willy Ya. This woman was raised in a very angular christian home where the children were able to play the part of God and work some home made magic or miricles.
Our food was prepared by a Syrian slave who was very nice, but unfortunately had a curfew from her husband! We hope to liberate this woman with a few speeches to the husband from Abraham Lincoln and simple 19th century logic. Next time. She would be a great boon cooking for us permanantly, I will never forget this apple splakenwortenkuche that she prepared using a spoon fashioned from a bird's beak!
The opening band was an act called Fkn Bass. A man with an egg carton face talked like a not-so-intelligent Morroccan hash dealer while a suitcase played by a "Gertja" dome monkeyman rubbed his box of wires together.
People commented on the earpiece hanging in the middle of the club or made flatulence sounds after their rummage.
Massassecci, from New Hampshire, performed a few under-the- bumblesting collapses off and on whilst members made a ruckus of hell on earth hand moves. Puppets, monks and ballet monsters is their modus operendi. We apparently owe them some favors due to their complete honesty and smiling condolences. They are very very nice people who will get some picked grass from the dutch countryside before too long from the Caroliner troupe.
Guylue Delue Defrumfrum played his modified record device where he used a mask to differenciate where the grooves were on his long player record. Binaucularic deep sea fish heads makes for a delicious 'kick me down the stairs' music.
Caroliner set up with a late night Wood Patty dripping onto the stage. With only croissant in his stomach he immediately broke some of the drum kit which in turn triggered the fragile American light system of dark lavender suns to die out.
I will make some more words in a few moments, but I must relieve myself of this large intake of food from the night last
We rely on the local electrical importance here in Europe as well as America. This is very unfortunate as the power shifts on pre stonehenge rocks that were found in the same formation years ago up here in the area of Zoowle and Dedemsvaart. The actual fact this was a swamp seemingly forever is a good reason to avoid this place much like the Romans did in the early part of recorded history. A person named Truck Van Rental came to the rescue of our electrical plight by abiectic musings around the wire distribution of our organ and black charcoal flow-motor. We diacoustically continued to die onstage before the curtain was drawn away, but decided to make haste with the setting and forego any intelligence (as we often do) with the knife and butter sound party patty we prepared. The base drum clicker immediately broke in half, the light, as i previously stated, decided to die a death fit for a celestial emperor so that only the Truck Van Rental light worked on itself and us. Fancy dance and displays of our stammel wear (which includes the European long necked sheep arm premier) mixed with the one Truck Van Rental light helped our face in the muck styled luck.
Two encores after viking cheers prepared us for the pie in the muck somniloquence. We were extremely tired from travelling. We had failed on music levels since the year ....I can't remember that far back, but still we played "Pumpkin Headed Kids with the Horsemane Hair", and the rousing "Land of Disturbances" with a rush to the audience to drive them out the door (no luck of this, these people have sticky swamp covered shoes). More cheering from the crowd, more tears and hair tearing. We crouched until the exit was full. No one hated it, and a handful of long play records were sold. Only! Some of these people were interested in comparing the live music with the stage music. They will be very confused I am sure! We flee now to Enschede.